It's fall. Again.

Season changes have a funny way of triggering one's memory. I think it's the same for everyone, but who knows. I had a call late last week from a former work acquaintance asking me to write a piece for a newsletter for a local food pantry. I'm not accustomed to that type of writing, but I agreed. I'm also unaccustomed to any sort of deadline--even more so since I've been working a mere 18 hours a week. I had forgotten about the thinking. That the moment you have a deadline, you can't get the process, the fear of failure, the pressure out of your mind. I even considered calling back and telling the her that I was too rusty to be able to complete the article on such short time.

That didn't seem right, especially since it was an opportunity to volunteer my time for a good cause. I had committed to it. Plus, I used to call myself a writer. And I'm so glad I stuck it out. For the first time in forever, my mind was churning with ideas. Driving in the car; while I was in the shower; before I fell asleep.

Once again, I found it to be the best and worst feeling in the world. And finally, after this long, long journey, I began to feel like myself again. I felt like I have something to say. I didn't watch as much television. I sang along to my iTunes in the car. Something clicked, and it was more than an idea. It was me. The good version of me that feels motivated and self-sufficient. The one that doesn't let the good times get away, and makes the most out of the bad times. I kind of like that old me, and it's high frigging time she made an appearance.

That said, it's time for a change. This blog doesn't serve much of a purpose anymore, set aside the occasional ramble when something strikes my mood. I think it needs a facelift. A title change. More interaction. Conversations.

Cheers, bitches.

What's missing here is another side. No, several sides. Also missing: quality content. The past year has brought a lot of pain. Pain that no words can describe. If I'm going to get stronger I need to take what I've written and set it aside as a tribute, at best. This pain can't make me stronger if I submit to it every time I want to write something.

If all goes well, over the next few weeks I'll be writing a new chapter. Both in my cyber-life and in real life. I'm not a one-trick pony, after all. Sometimes I'm all boring and habitual, and then sometimes I just need to shake things up, for sanity's sake. This is the perfect time for it. What with the leaves changing, and the temperatures dropping and the dark coming on earlier than usual. Oh, and of course I'm finally, after a long hiatus, back to drinking the occasional glass (or two) of wine.