walking the line.

We watch a lot of movies these days. This one caught my interest the other day. I watched it, and I've been thinking about it since.

Research suggests that via genetics, we have a happiness baseline, which accounts for 50 percent of our attainable happiness. Circumstances, such as having adequate food, shelter, etc. make up only ten percent. That means anything we choose to pursue will make up the remaining 40 percent.

Research also suggests that people who have strong ties to friends and family are typically happier. Otherwise, it's up to you. Shit.

I wonder what percentage of happiness I'm achieving right now, eating these Skittles and writing to the invisible people of the blogosphere. I'd give purple a seven percent. Red gets a full 10, and orange is a close second at eight percent. Green and yellow...meh. Maybe a three percent for either. I don't mix, so there'll be no adding them up. Anyway, I don't like to rush things.

Not rushing things. Has to be a solid 15 percent, at least for me. So that means if I'm maintaining my baseline happiness, and I have food, shelter, maybe a shower that day, and I don't have to rush, I'm 75 percent happy. That's not to say one can't dip well below their happiness baseline. It's happened to me, and it can happen to you.

People also say, "If you don't have your health, then you don't have anything." My experiences over the past year or two with a number of off and on, mostly on, then off again health problems suggest that yes, it's very hard to hang onto anything if you don't have your health. That said, not having your health can sometimes alienate you from the friends and family that research suggests, would make you happier.

Instead of getting off-topic and continuing on a negative thread, I'm going to get right back to the happy part.

I wouldn't deny that I've had many moments, and even long runs with happiness in my life. What goes up, must come down, but...what goes down must also get up off the floor. 

Eventually. If you came down hard enough, you may first have to regain consciousness.

Maybe that's what I've been doing. Honestly, it does feel more these days like I'm waking from a long sleep. I'm recounting better days, and trying like holy hell to make new ones. I've come to the conclusion that 2006 was a very good year. Quite possibly my favorite. I miss that year almost as much as I miss my cat Lucky, who died in March. I still cry when I think about both of those things too hard. Sometimes I'm making tears of happiness for having lived with and experienced things I wouldn't have without them, and other times they're tears of sadness that all things must pass. Even the great things.

And now, I suspect it's apropos to write some things that make me happy.

Hugs.
Smelling my cats' heads.
The peace and quiet only a fresh blanket of snow can bring.
Song.
Clean sheets.
The moment at which I've paid every bill for the month.
When the person behind the counter at DollarTree strikes up a conversation with me, even though he/she doesn't have to.
Riding on trains.
Yardley's Lavender.
The short time after I've cleaned the bathroom sink and it's completely free of my boyfriend's whiskers. 
Coffee.
Spring. 

“I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath