HappyThankYouMorePlease.

Life is just like the movies. Not like what happens in movies. Life is like the part where you think you're going to get one thing based on the trailers, and then maybe you've just seen all of the funny parts and the rest of the movie is very, very serious. Or sometimes it's the other way around.

I've tried to train myself not to expect anything in particular, but to try really, really hard to make things come out all right. I don't know if that's the right thing to do, but it's still what I do. It probably always will be. I can't help but notice that sometimes you can try really hard, and things still come out shit, or at least someone else will think they're shit, and well, I just can't always make everyone happy. I had a friend once mistake me for someone who would try really hard to do things their way--if I succeeded, they would be happy and like me. It took me about 20 years to realize that we weren't meant to be friends. That was about three years after she realized that we weren't meant to be friends. Does it bother me sometimes? A ton.

Even without her, I guess I just try to be the best possible version of me. Nothing less. If it's like the movies, one day that might mean it's not as good as you'd have expected, and sometimes it's better. I had one of my better days last week, which helped me during a telephone interview, and I'm happy to say that they emailed me today (on Sunday!) to schedule an in person interview for this week. So, if anyone really did send those positive thoughts I had asked for in my previous post, it worked! Thank you, and please keep more of the same coming. I've been feeling more under the weather than usual...I think it's just post-cold residual, so any encouragement and positive reinforcement goes a long way.

An aside, four months of unemployment goes by very, very fast. I know I'm going to look back and kick myself for not making more of the time.