swim, swim

This year has been a whirlwind of activity. Most good, some bad. I feel like I've been under water; water that is sometimes calm and peaceful, and other times turbulent and crushing. My new year will begin with a forceful current--pulling me into my first college course ever. Better late than never, right? So I am coming up for a full, deep breath of air, and off I will go for two-and-a-half weeks of what will be either an intriguing and thought provoking experience, or sheer torture. Maybe both.

Buying a house this year has us reeling. I am mostly filled with joy. There is something to be said for feeling rooted. I couldn't have imagined the relief that I live somewhere that has the potential to be so permanent. And then there is the weight that it is almost permanent, and anything that could go wrong is our responsibility to avoid, and if it does go wrong, we are in complete charge.  That said, it still feels good that our room is, in fact, our room. I'll concede that at the closing table I realized that we are really borrowing the house from the bank for 30 years. At which point I will be (with any luck), 68. Aye.

But home is where we will celebrate Christmas, with both of our families, and I couldn't be happier. Filling our house with the people who love us most, and making new memories here is exactly what the doctor ordered. Well, that and 15 mg of Paxil a day. But I feel good. Almost normal, but not in the boring, over-medicated way. Just right for a change.

We are considering adding a kitten to our pack. Because I'm still not convinced this old body can manage to pop out a child before it reaches 40. For the record, we aren't pursuing it. At least not now.

So much to think about, so little time.A deep breath, and under I go. My only hope for the first month of the new year is that I pass my course. One. Thing. At. A. Time.