these things I've seen.

Regarding the change of scenery here, I needed something new. I hate change. I cope with change, sometimes I roll with change, but I've never been able to like it.

I can't understand it, because I've needed it so badly, which I didn't know until this week.

Status quo is for suckers. How can I say that when I took almost a year off from everything challenging in my life to watch television? Here's how. This year was the most miserable yet. I'm talking lifetime. And who would ever have guessed it? I'd say maybe one or two people. Possibly three.

Before things changed, there used to be my father; he always understood me, at least until the booze soaked in. Sadly, he knows his cognitive skills are bad. He can't comprehend simple hospital forms, or his daughter, but he recognizes that he can't do those things. Yet he remembers when he could. Now that's a bad year.

I'm going to have to move on. From toll booths and trainstops to other, more tangible things. Like destinations. I don't love it, but I figure it's about time I start arriving, since I've grown out of driving just to be anywhere but here. I've never been good at leaving things behind; as a result, I've only become worse at being left behind.

It's been a crap year, and until now, I thought I was falling. I'm beginning to think that I've just been driving down the wrong road.

And if I'm lucky, I'll get a Garmin for my birthday.

"La Maga, without the drugs, this relationship's dead/when we were high, you agreed when I said/that comfort is fraud/and true love is like/true love is like watching you go/so watch me/go." - Vague Angels