rolling on out.

Today could have been a long, lonely day. Instead, I've got a clean house, a devil's food cake baking in the oven, and a long anticipated cappuccino to sip on at this very moment. I ate Tikka Masala for dinner. A perfect afternoon.

After a week's long bout with whatever bug took up residence in my lungs, I'm finally on the mend. I feel like my broken heart is on the mend, too. Because even though I've met and moved in with one of my best friends to date, my battered psyche had been doing a number on the rest of me. Sometimes it still does.

Today, I am happy in the best way, in that I am also sad, but in the way you feel when you're lamenting something that was good, but isn't really anymore. In the way that you feel you can finally accept that everything has its day, however long or short or in between. I'm trying to avoid falling into a pit of nostalgia, as it really doesn't serve me well. 

Spring forthcoming (maybe), we're planning a trip to NYC, which I know won't be the same as any of my past trips. It can't be. I guess that means it can only be something new, which I hope is as good if not better. If nothing else, I now know better than to go in the heat of its sweaty-ass summer. 

That's not to say I'm not looking forward to summer here. Two things that I hope will stay the same are floating Fridays and weekends with my extended family by the pool. Both of those things are equally pleasant to me, save one thing. Having been gluten-free for a year now, one thing I certainly miss most is Guinness. Or decent beer in general. My new and improved medicated self should probably avoid most alcohol anyway. On the flip side, I'll be healthier and less dehydrated. 

In the meantime, I'm planning to play more music, write more stuff, and just take care of me for a while. It's been far too long since I was able to look at myself, at my life in a positive way. It's been far too long since I took care of me, not physically, but emotionally and mentally. So this week, I bought myself two plants. Because I need something else to love. It's what I do best, and it's what I'm happiest doing. That said, I was so relieved to learn last week that my elder kitty's thyroid levels are under control, and he is without any underlying kidney damage. Clean bill of health for him, even if he does have to take that stinky chicken flavor medicine for the rest of his hopefully very long and contented life. I never thought 13 years ago that I'd have had a friend that is so unquestionably loving and lovable all at the same time. Never mind that he's a bigger bed hog than even me. 

This is where I am, however mundane and boring it may seem. It's the only place I want to be.